Sometimes, the general idiocy of life is such that you feel compelled to get it on paper, as to provide some kind of proof, to future generations, to avoid such madness. You can only hope that, in it’s reading, that one person, one solitary person, may get the message, and decide to walk into moving traffic or play Russian Roulette, except hoping, praying even, that there really IS one in the chamber, and that you can only hope it blows your whole head off- you never want to go out like Prince’s Dad in Purple Rain. This is a reflection of one of those days…
…as I wake up, I go to work and discover there is a staff meeting at work. I’m not sure what you think of staff meetings, or even if you have them where you work or have ever had them. If not, say a quiet “Thank You, God!” and move on, hoping that your luck will continue. But in the same way that, eventually, you do hit the combination of alcohol and age to get a hangover, you will eventually have to go to the dreaded staff meeting. There are a variety of worlds where I could imagine that me being in a staff meeting could serve some benefit to me, but that would be in a world where anything, anything at all that I thought, wouldn’t be viewed in the same way one might view walking on your dad terrorizing your mom’s snatch like he was named Osama Bin-Ladin. My presence is only required because everyone’s presence is required, meaning my need to be there far outstripped any desire I had to be there. This meeting, we were discussing a logistic issue – we have too many employees to work the allotted slots that exist, but all the workers really want more hours. We batted around a variety of ideas to help resolve the problems- creating more shifts, creating more business to allow for the people that want more work to work more, changing hours of operation to allow for more shifts, etc. But there is a dilemma, we can’t really afford to offer more hours or more shifts, and it’s infeasible to change operational hours to make any of these things happen. One of the topics of discussion that was never broached, in this brainstorming of ideas was the simple, most obvious one: tell them “no, you can’t.” This idea was looked on in the same way the average American might look at a Tijauna donkey show. So the battle begins, about ways to achieve the goals without telling them “no.” So at the end of the conversation, here’s how I read the process: They want to do something we think is a bad idea, can’t afford it economically or execute it logistically. And yet, we’re still here, having a conversation about how to best execute this miserable idea (an idea you don’t agree with, and can’t logistically do or fiscally afford, seems to me to be a bad idea)…this is when I tuned out and thought about getting a sandwich…
…I arrive at the sandwich shop, and looking on the menu, I see a sandwich on the board. It’s $7.95- the most expensive sandwich on the board (Turkey, Bacon and Avocado). I’m not a fan of avocado, so I ask for the sandwich without it. I get the sandwich (which was AWESOME, by the way), and as I get the bill, it seems a little high, so I ask for the receipt- which explains it all. I was charged $8.45 for my sandwich, not $7.95 (this isn’t as big a deal as the general principle of this, as I lose .50 more times a month than I know). I decide to ask, in which they tell me that the $7.95 sandwich is a special (Turkey, Bacon, Avocado) but my sandwich isn’t (Turkey and Bacon) and because it’s not a special, it’s $8.45 ($7.45 for sandwich and $1 for the Bacon). She then asks me if this makes sense. I ask her if the sandwiches are pre-made, to which she says “of course not!”
“Then it makes no sense.”
She seems flummoxed- can’t imagine why. I try to explain to her, that, while this is her restaurant, and she can charge what she wants, and that I can HATE the way she operates, and still buy sandwiches if she doesn’t ban me from the establishment, that I can’t imagine why NOT putting an item on a sandwich costs me MORE money than putting the item on. If the sandwich is pre-made, then it makes sense, as there is no labor issue. Since it takes you product (that costs you money) and time (to put the EXTRA item on the sandwich) to make the sandwich with avocado, it should not cost me MORE to get that stuff NOT on the sandwich. Still, she seems flummoxed. She calls for the manager to talk to me- I just want to get my sandwich and to go somewhere and eat it. I have to re-explain to the manager, who, literally, just REPEATS what the first woman told me. He seems frustrated by my general musings, and is quickly becoming annoyed. I remind him that they can do whatever they choose, and the only reason this is still an issue is because you all want me to agree with you, and it doesn’t make sense to me, for the reasons I explained. I’ve also ALREADY PAID YOU, so it’s clearly not a big deal, but one I was curious enough to ask about. I leave the shop with my sandwich, but with no resolution…
…so let’s see how this worked- twice today, I wanted to say something, told myself it was a terrible idea, knew it would fall on deaf ears, and at the end, I would wish I hadn’t spoken up in the first place. And, yet, for some reason, I felt the need to speak my mind anyway. If insanity is defined as repeating an action and expecting a different result, then…
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