sellouts...part one...

For those of you that know me, or are getting an impression of me from this blog thing, there are probably a few facts that have been hard to escape you. I'm clearly involved in this thing called debate, and even though it takes up a ton of my time, and it drains every ounce of energy i have sometimes, it's truly the most rewarding thing that I currently do, but also the most fulfilling thing I've ever done. It's a ton of hard work that mostly goes unappreciated, and if you don't have the love for it, shoveling feces for a living would be a better job. What i actually should say is that, in order to give the job it's due, and to give the kids their due diligence, it requires an above and beyond the call of duty effort. The job is not for the faint of heart....unless you don't give a shit about the kids...

...These people really get under my skin. Now, don't get me wrong, I have dialed it in on a countless number of jobs in my lifetime, some that make the resume, and some that I'd deny i ever held, and unless you have some proof, you shouldn't even mention it. I've walked out in the middle of a shift, in the middle of a job (left food on the grill when i quit, left a cash register and closed a store at 7:30pm, etc), i've no-call-no-showed to a $75K a year job, you name a shady way to leave a place of employment (legal and shady) and I've probably done it. But I've never taken a job that really mattered, and just not gotten it done. It just seems that kids are in need of the things we can provide them, and they actually rely on us to help them through complicated times. Some kids just need a place to be, and speech offers them that avenue. When i was in school, i was a dork, still am some would say. Debate was a place for me to be a dork and nobody seemed to mind. it seemed that everyone had their own things to deal with, so they were more accepting, and that's the kind of place i try to foster for the kids...difference is not shunned, we attempt to appreciate it at best and to embrace it at least...

...it's wierd that an activity that is, at its core, really really competitive would be a place that would allow for the fostering of positivity and a place to build (and sometimes rebuild) students self-esteem. Talking in front of an audience is the hardest thing most of us will individually have to do. it's not actually as hard as brain surgery, but my neurosurgeon friends would rather do their job than give speeches, even for the same money. the statistic indicates that fear of public speaking is the number one fear, the number two fear, is death. Death. Dying. This really does mean most people would rather be in a casket than giving the eulogy. The task of helping kids become better, more confident speakers is a task that I imagine some have taken too lightly, just sending their kids to battle unarmed...this only becomes an issue when attending the state tournament. there are kids here who clearly have not prepared sufficiently to legitimatly compete. maybe this is the competitive fire that burns in me, it seems if you're going to attend an event that has at the end, a winner, that you should prepare as if you were trying to win. you may not win, not everyone can be the fastest, but you should prepare as if you could. that way, you have no questions. it seems the worst of all worlds would be to not have tried your best, and to find out, upon arrival, that your best would have been sufficient, and now all you have is some amount of regret, because you didn't try and now you get to wonder if you could have gotten it done. I feel that is, if it were to happen, all my fault. it's my job to make sure that doesn't happen. it's my job to make sure you don't, in your infinite wisdom, do something you'll regret, maybe for an hour, and maybe forever...both pretty implausable, but possible nonetheless. it's my job to save kids from themselves...if i didn't have someone doing that for me, i'd have spent my existene in the activity skating by, not ever seeing what my "all-in" effort looked like...and when i figured it out, i liked what i saw. i do this for a living now, and i clearly didn't see that one coming...and i'm not the kid anyone thought would be doing this...which just goes to show you that it could be anyone that could end up listening to you, even someone you don't think is paying attention. I hope by all things that are holy that i am not a role model (think Charles Barkley sans the DUI), but if someone is watching...

...guess i'm just getting soft in my old age...